She's so endearingly out-of-the-loop these days.

There's something sort of sweet about a fledgling, bloated starlet-that-was appearing on a late-nite show to promote a whole lot of not-much. It's even better when her hair looks a little lackluster and she's sporting fantastically squishable upper arms.
But here's what made me giggle: when Mr Letterman asked her if she was pregnant, she said, "Don't worry Dave, it's not yours." I didn't giggle because she was witty. I didn't giggle because she laughed at her own little joke. I didn't giggle because he replied, "Oh. Well I think that's good news for both of us." Nope. I giggled because it was a terrific, iconic example of hard she's trying to stay relevant, hip, "cool." And that she's failing.
See, she's just familiar enough with the Letterman crowd to know that most of the female guests like to "play-flirt" with Dave. It's cute. It's funny. It's ironic. Pretend that you're in love with Dave, pretend you're infatuated with Dave, let Dave make little overtures at you or ooogle your young little rack or compliment your "dress" or something. Play coy, chastize him for being naughty, slap his hand in that coquettish way, it's always a hit. Everyone likes to watch movie stars "play-flirt" with the funny, geeky man.

That much she understands. But she fails with the delivery. Are we supposed to believe, even in that waning-starlet-late-nite-tv-appearance-suspended-reality way that Dave and Britney ever knocked boots? She was too literal. It wasn't coy, it wasn't mysterious, it wasn't playful, it was contrived. And uncomfortable. And too obvious (maybe it's just my taste, but to me, it's not funny unless it's subtle...but then, silly me, sublety is not something rehearsed very regularly in the School of Pop Star). At any rate...she's having another baby. I'll refrain from any "Oops" references, because, well...it's not subtle.

But we can rest assured of one thing. Britney Spears and David Letterman didn't sleep together. Now we can rest easy. She may still be married to a lyrical...GENIUS, she may be modeling parenting skills culled from a combination of sitcoms and tabloids, but she is NOT carrying David Letterman's baby.

Gee, glad that's cleared up.