a collection of unrelated observations

Observation 1: Lindsay Lohan looks great in ugly underwear. And she also does bad, bad drugs with her mommy...

Observation 2: Britney's a great mom. She doesn't let her kid play with sharks. But I've seen her kid recently. I think she should be more concerned that her kid would EAT her brilliant husband's shark-pets. Also, baby number two was an "oops."

Observation 3: Don't try breaking in a pair of REALLY. TIGHT. JEANS when you're gonna be sitting at a desk all day. I'm mildly afraid I may be sawed in half at the waist. They're that tight. Had to wear them, they make my butt look flippin TERRIFIC. Oh wait, I sit at a desk all day. No one sees my butt. So I'll be sliced in half for naught. Man, they're really tight.

Observation 4: Christina Aguilera's cd takes a little getting used to. It's well-produced, I dig the crackly vinyl sound she lays down at the beginning of a few tracks, she belts it as usual, but the whole pop-opera vibe I got after a few listens still has me puzzled. The genres bounce ALL over the board, so stylistically, it's difficult to ever be in the mood for the WHOLE cd (fine, for BOTH cd's) at once. I end up track-skipping like crazy. Cd's redeeming virtue: the Panty-Droppin, Cherry-Poppin song is catchy.

Observation 5: If I hear one more person in my dog-crazy office talk about "The Dog Whisperer" I'll...I'll...I'll force them to watch back-to-back episodes of "Blind Date." Also, the office manager's boyfriend just cut his hair. I know this, because she's told the story to six different people this morning. That's about how great her office-managing life is these days. A haircut is news.

Observation 6: Yikes. It's becoming difficult to breathe these jeans are SO. TIGHT. I'm wondering what would happen, from a human resources perspective, if I were to take them off and work for the rest of the day in my underwear. Man, there isn't even room in these for me to drink a cup of coffee. I know, since I just tried.

Observation 7: I don't care how overexposed and touristy it is, Santorini looks like heaven, and if it leaves us completely broke afterward, I don't care as long as I get to honeymoon there. Try to resist THIS PLACE. Just try. Swimming pools that dribble into the ocean, breakfast served on your private terrace, open air bars, private jacuzzis...complimentary wine, beautiful sunsets...Blast the travel guides that tell us we'll be missing the REAL experience by becoming tourist pawns in overcrowded island resorts. I want the terrace breakfasts and the spa and the wine and the sunsets!

Observation 8: The Pike Place Market turns 99 this year. Presumably that means vendors have been tossing fish for tourists for nearly that long. And it must have been about 98 years ago that Tom Hanks ate at one of the restaurants in "Sleepless in Seattle" right at the cusp of his bloated era.

Observation 9: Muscat, as a dessert wine: rather intense. Dessert wines in general: always sound like a great idea until I have a glass of it in front of me. I've never been able to finish a glass of dessert wine. Same goes for muscat.

Observation 10: August in this town absolutely blows. It's still hardly 70 degrees out there right now. Isn't this supposed to be summertime? I'm living in the wrong town. I hear Santorini is nice this time of year.