the upside to working 15-hour days:

Weekends!

Oh, no, wait...I'm working those, too. Sundays, national holidays (guess there's a reason it's called LABOR day...I'm livin the dream), you name it.

Naps on the keyboard! Hmm...naw, those are uncomfortable.

So here are the top 10 GOOD parts about working consecutive 15-hour days:

• ONE) No traffic! I'm getting here before people are awake and leaving here after people are in bed! No sitting at stop lights, waiting on the freeway, nothing!

• TWO) Incandescent light has fantastic anti-aging properties. Errr, for all of the hours I'm INSIDE, I'm most certainly NOT out in the lovely 85-degree sunshine. Really, who needs sunshine. Wrinkles: overrated. Fantastically youthful skin preserved by the light of a healthy, UVA/UVB-free desk lamp: ageless. If I have an indescribable, ethereal glow: gotta give credit to the computer monitor.

• THREE) I don't have to worry that I've forgotten to check in with somebody's blog - I KNOW I've forgotten. I haven't checked in with ANYBODY'S blog in a week or so. No more constant refreshing for comments, no more catching up on everyone's new posts in the morning. Blog? What's a blog? Is that like an Eggo?
  

• FOUR) Virtual biology lessons! I'm getting smarter while I'm glued to this uncomfortable chair - digestive system's acting up because I'm existing on diet Coke and flavored oatmeal and Carnation Instant Breakfast and leftover donuts from the management meeting and old, dried out banana chips from the candy dish at the front desk (sore point, by the way. WHO gets excited about visiting the office candy dish and finding banana chips and wasabi peas and dried ginger and stale almonds and carob anything? I want mini Reese's cups and peanut M&Ms and peppermint patties!). No prob! Just check the symptoms on WebMD! They'll tell you how to fix the pesky digestive condition, and give you a staggering list of related conditions! How neat! While I'm struggling to stay awake, I can ponder the ways this lifestyle will slowly kill me - I'll know the symptoms the second they strike!

• FIVE) Live entertainment. If I'd left at a NORMAL time on Friday (read: If I'd left at noon like everyone else around here does) I'd have missed the better-than-COPS car accident directly across the street - white car SLAMS into ghetto Buick, obliterating the back end, blowing tires and bumper pieces and glass all over the road - over-corrects, careens back across traffic, leaps the sidewalk, drives OVER a tree and INTO the building across the street, stopping only INCHES from a glass window and an office full of people! Even stranger than fiction, one passenger BOLTS, the other frantically tries to back the car off of the tree they're parked on before police arrive. Better than TV.

• SIX) Christina Aguilera. I can work my way through her entire repertoire as loudly as I want once the last middle-aged man has left the building. And when I'm done with Christina, I've still got the Wilson Phillips archives, the Brooks & Dunn, the Steve Miller, the Jimmy Buffet, the Kelly Clarkson, and the much under appreciated Beth Hart (but because she tends to scream and screech, she's less than office-hours friendly). Just please, stick a pair of SCISSORS IN MY EAR before I'm caught dead buying into office-mate's idea of a good time: Michael McDonald does Motown!!!! "So upbeat!" Scissors. In my ear.

• SEVEN) Unlimited pampering when I get home. Want champagne? Cozy pajamas? Sour patch kids? Hot Shots: Part Deux? I name it, and it's mine, accompanied by foot rubs, back rubs, shoulder rubs, the works. I married the most wonderful man ever created.

• EIGHT) I can wear great shoes and know it doesn't matter if they're comfortable or not - I'll be sitting in front of this computer the ENTIRE day...I get up to use the bathroom and make an occassional photocopy. 5-inch spike heels or 6-inch platforms would be comfy when they're sitting in a chair all day (not that I own or wear either. Yet. Came very close with a pair of Joey O's that I just bought).

• NINE) Working this much is a great excuse to play dumb when anyone asks me ANYTHING. Standard response: "Beats me. But I DID work 15 hours yesterday. And the day before. And on Sunday. Ooh - could I have a cookie?"

• TEN) Knowing that after this Wednesday, I'll have 18 uninterrupted days with the man of my dreams the day I leave for this place (you MAY even hear from me again IF I decide to come back):