add "spa" to the list of things that i'm supposed to love by virtue of being female...but don't.
Chocolate, romantic comedies, Jack Johnson tunes, Brad Pitt...and trips to the "SPA."Things that women are supposed to looooooooove.
Can't stand 'em. CNN had some fluffy feature about how trips to the spa are becoming more and more mainstream - they're not just for celebrities and millionaires. They're for the Target-shoppers among us. Apparently along with "go to the grocery store" and "put gas in the Toyota" I'm supposed to add "Hot-rock massage and facial" to the routine to-do list.
Ick.I think I can chalk it up to the fact that I have a very large personal....."bubble space." I'm slow to warm to people, takes me a good six-months of small-talk, casual-acquaintance, "hey, how are ya" type interaction before I'm really truly comfortable with a person. I bristle if someone at work - thinking they're being jovial and friendly - pats me on the shoulder or squeezes my arm. Those social hugs - the kind girls seem to start and end every conversation with - drive me nuts. I'm...prickly about having my personal space invaded. And it seems to take precious little to invade the personal space.
Case in point: I ended a first date with a HANDSHAKE once. A handshake.
A handshake.
Weird "personal-space" thing happening with me. One of my quirks. I could say it makes me seem mysterious, but to the touchy-feelier among us, I'm just on this side of "icy."
So, stands to reason that's why the SPA makes me nervous. I had a massage once. Swore I'd never have another massage. Been told they're relaxing. I left feeling so stressed out I wanted to jump in the bathtub with some good loud Travis Tritt and wash the entire experience away. And it was a GOOD massage (or so other people that used the same practitioner assured me)...
The idea of a facial...forget it. I'd get the "I'm uncomfortable" giggles (many stories about how innopportune those giggles can be) and the entire experience would be shot. Shot or not, I'd still have to pay good dollars for the uncomfortable experience, and I have a difficult time parting with money when the experience was...NOT something I'd ever repeat of my own volition.
I cut my own hair. Get antsy when any stranger - even a professional stranger - gets their hands on my head.
The first time I ever had a manicure, the lady kept slapping my hand to force it to relax (note to manicurist for the next uncomfortable first-timer: slapping - probably not the best way to encourage relaxation...).
Destination Spas: prison!!!!!!
For anywhere from $750 to a hundred million bucks, I could allow myself the "relaxing pleasure" of total lockup! Full immersion in the utterly terrifying world of paid pampering. How fun!
Count me out. I'll never be the girl ditching work after a stressful day to go get a massage or a facial. The relaxation is lost on me. If I want to relax I'll order a pizza and dance around in my living room to girlie pop-music. Or buy a new pair of shoes.
I am a girl, afterall...
posted by heatheradair at 2:46 AM
14 Comments:
You know, my girlfriend feels the same way. Why just the other day I offered her a facial and she gave me a very hearty "Hell NO!"
Crazy. I thought only guys had these kind of personal space don't-touch-me issues.
:this post composed while getting a massage listening to indie pop music: =;-)
I think it would be easier if I could just "get over it" and just DECIDE to be comfortable being poked, prodded, squished, kneaded, squeezed, tugged and otherwise bruised, but I'm holding steady! Stand back, keep your fingers to yourself (unless invited, then it's no-holds-barred) and leave me to my tense shoulders and natural complexion and self-painted nails, thanks...good to know I'm not the only one :)
Don't get me started on the old guy at work that comes along and strokes my head...
mjb-(as long as you don't say it's brad pitt giving you the massage or feeding you chocolate you're still alright :))
It's not an issue for soemone to touch me if I've invited them to do so - I like getting my hair and nails done, and massages are heavenly. However, I'm not tactile, and find it difficult to hug people or be all 'touchy-feely' with them, even longtime freidns and family. If they're like that with me, I don't mind too much. If it's a random guy on the Tube standing too close, then the elbows come out.
You have some guy at work who just strokes your head? ?!?!?!
CB, well put..."Tactile" is a good word...I have a handful of people that I'm absolutely, without qualification, completely TOUCHABLE around, but that handful is sparse....and does NOT include the grandfatherly-type that thinks it's okay to come up behind the chair at work and touch my hair. He won't be dissuaded, either...I think I've written him off as "kooky old man with too few other thrills in his life," but man do I whip the chair around when I see him coming - if I can look busy and otherwise indisposed (read: if I can put a file cabinet between us) all the better.
I had a "massage" recently at a hoity toity resort in Vegas. It involved being rubbed in French salt and then being placed in some oscillating tub. It was boring and kind of silly.
I dated someone who was a massage therapist. I think I got one massage during the 18 months we were together, and that was enough.
sorry, heather. can't agree with you on this one. i'm waiting for my new job's first paycheck so i can book Vlad at the Hot Stone Spa. $125 for seventy mins of pure heaven.
although i HATE facials...
I thought I'd be weirded out by the whole massage/spa thing myself when I did it, but surprisingly I didn't feel violated. The fact that the masseuse was 6 ft. tall blonde and swedish probably didn't hurt either.
A life without massages? Wow. The facials and bikini waxes I can do without, but nothing is more heavenly than a lovely massage... I wish I didn't like them. I'd have an enviable shoe collection.
interesting.
Did you like the guy you gave a handshake to on the first date? If you didn't like him, it's not as big a deal. But if so, craaaazy.
But yeah, this is my first time seeing someone declare a lack of love for spas (and brad pitt). Are you sure you're not just being contrarian? If Brad Pitt confessed his love, and got you a full day of spa treatment, you'd offer him a handshake and politely decline?
Would absolutely shake his hand and politely decline - !
(actually, I did like mr post-date-handshake...went as far as nearly-marrying him. fantastic date, in all respects.)
If I were just aiming to contradict, I'd say, "I dig Hilary Duff's teeth and I think Madonna IS STILL edgy."
But basically, Brad Pitt's never done it for me (maybe it's the pockmark-scarred cheeks or the one vertical/one horizontal nostril, or the fact that I can't shake the image of the shaggy beard a'la Legends of the Fall), and being rubbed and slathered and poked and prodded and manipulated and dipped in mud and burned with parafin sounds SO nice ----- I'll pass.
HOWEVER: if Jeremy Piven offered me a foot rub, I MIGHT think about it.
Or I might shake his hand, too.
i hate spas too! getting a manicure or pedicure is like prolonged exposure to that 'fingernails on chalkboard' sound for me. MISERY.
i got bullied (via bachelorette party) into going to a spa last weekend, and i had to fork over $50 just to get in and have access to the Mineral Baths, aka 'tiny pools that smelled like high school stink bombs and grossed me out of ever eating eggs again' and Mud Baths, which were fun, but alot of work and didn't do SQUAT for my skin.
And the one massage i've had? the masseuse spoke in that awful, patronizing, 'soothing' murmur-voice the entire time! Good grief. Get over yourself.
Glad to know i'm not the only girl without the 'spa' gene. :]
kallie, i read on your page that Ashley got married!!! (assuming that was the mineral bath bachelorette party?) Tell her congrats for me!
(oh - and if I'm paying good money to soak in pools that smell icky, the MINERALS better be flakes of GOLD, basically, or I'm hoppin out and treating myself to a big bowl of fruity pebbles...something really, actually relaxing!)
This site is one of the best I have ever seen, wish I had one like this.
»
Post a Comment
<< Home