forget starter condo. i want an island treehouse.

One of the best Christmas presents I can remember receiving was my very own copy of The Swiss Family Robinson...the deluxe, remastered, restored, two-disc set (courtesy of Bethy).

I love those Robinsons. They're plucky. And golden-skinned. They can dance, and sing, and terrorize vicious bands of pirates using fruits and vegetables of the island.

I watched the movie last night, and after a quick discussion about what Family Robinson planned to do about the shortage of women (Roberta was darling, sure...but does Fritz really want to share, just for the good of the island?), I decided that the overpriced, windowless apartment conversions being sold as "condominiums" are stupid.

I don't want a starter home or a fixer-upper or a nice bland duplex.

I want a treehouse. With a retractable roof to gaze at the stars, and an organ to play so that the family can dance peppy jigs, and a water wheel...and ugly curtains, and a giant conch shell for a sink. That's what I want.


I want a deserted island, and a pet tiger, and a Fritz of my own...

Kale tells me "I'll build you one!"

"Okay!!! Where?!"

"Ummm...somewhere with trees!"

"Perfect!!!"

And we'll use a bellows to stoke the kitchen fire, and we'll catch and eat...wild chickens and we'll bathe in the ocean and frolick in the surf and live happily ever after!

And if we end up with a child as irritating as Ernst, we'll definitely send him off to a distant "University."