i'd be his arm candy.
I decided one day a few years ago that I wanted to be famous (well, that's misleading. I've wanted to be famous since I could hold a hairbrush like a microphone and lip sync to Amy Grant. BUT, I revisited this topic a little more aggressively just recently). So the question became, "Famous for what????" Well, I figure I have any number of things that I do pretty well, but becoming certifiably famous by my own merit...that takes too stinkin long. I'd rather just be famous by association.
Not "trashy-famous," in that jet-setting, trustafarian, daddy's-money way...I'd rather be Famous-Guy-Arm-Candy...have my picture taken, appear glamourously in all the right places, at all the right times, accompanied by all the right gentleman.
The criteria is pretty simple: I'd accompany decently well-respected, more or less clean-cut, sexually low-profile (that is, not prone to tabloid-esque flings with over-exposed minor-celebrity girls or A-listers who have otherwise been linked with so many co-stars they're a verifiable petrie dish. ewwwww), generally well-dressed famous guys around town (premiers, press appearances, restaurant openings, things like that), careful always to be photographed with them, until I became a household name, too. It's basically an extension of a game my mom and I like to play: IfYouCouldBeStrandedOnADesertIslandWith5Celebrities
WhoWouldTheyBe?
So here's the lucky list:
Dennis Quaid
He makes reasonable professional decisions, reasonable personal-life decisions, is reasonably rugged, and by association, would make me seem like a reasonable sort of girl...NOT a bad reputation to have as Famous Guy Arm Candy - who wants to be received as flaky and disengenuious, anyway? Associate with the reasonable and they'll take your picture much more frequently (and probably opt to catch you at the more flattering moments, no less!). And on top of that, Dennis seems like the kind of guy that would say something reasonably complimentary about your hair or dress at just the right moment.
Simon Cowell
Ok, I think he's foxy in that smirking, non-plussed sort of way...and basically, if the man that's underwhelmed by everyone were seen around town with me...well that would automatically put me heads and shoulders above most everyone else without doing a thing, right? If the man that looks down his nose at even talented, good-looking people decided it was A-OK to take me to dinner...superstar, right then and there.
Anthony LaPaglia
"Uh...what are you, SIXTY years old?? Why are you into him???"
Guess I'm a sucker for swarthy, quiet types with a little in the middle (and apparently chin, and cheeks...and...). But he stays under the radar, doesn't land himself in the tabloids, and there's that subtle little accent that creeps in from time to time. He broods a little...and what girl doesn't like the challenge of cheering up a brooding, swarthy man? Not that primetime tv hunks tend to get a whole lot of attention anyway, so maybe the arm candy can work in both directions in this case...he'll be seen around town with a nice young thing...I'll be seen with "that guy from that one show...with the blonde girl...and wasn't he the one wearing the mesh shirt in 'The Client?'"
Jeff Probst
Apparently another 20-something already beat me to the punch with this one...but she pretty much went straight down my bullet-pointed list of "things to accomplish before I'm 30" and took the wind outta my sails..."Psych degree, check! Get on tv, get tanned, get skinny, check! Take the Khaki King home to mom and dad, check!" How would he catapult me to superstardom? I'm not....reallly....sure. But he's got those sparkly white teeth and that wry sarcastic angle...and that corny helicopter bit that got so old at the end of every season of Survivor, I loved that bit!
George Clooney
This one is pretty much just a "what-can-you-do-for-me" pick. He's a decent-looking guy, but I'd call it more of a conquest thing...if Lucy Liu can't keep the man, there's not a lot of hope for the rest of us, but to be seen - actually seen in public, not rumoured to have dined in private - with him would make me that much more intruiging, AND he's about as high-profile as they come...only foreseeable complication: having someone's equally high-profile arm to rebound toward when I'm inevitably dropped cold for ambiguous reasons having something to do with "committment."
Not "trashy-famous," in that jet-setting, trustafarian, daddy's-money way...I'd rather be Famous-Guy-Arm-Candy...have my picture taken, appear glamourously in all the right places, at all the right times, accompanied by all the right gentleman.
The criteria is pretty simple: I'd accompany decently well-respected, more or less clean-cut, sexually low-profile (that is, not prone to tabloid-esque flings with over-exposed minor-celebrity girls or A-listers who have otherwise been linked with so many co-stars they're a verifiable petrie dish. ewwwww), generally well-dressed famous guys around town (premiers, press appearances, restaurant openings, things like that), careful always to be photographed with them, until I became a household name, too. It's basically an extension of a game my mom and I like to play: IfYouCouldBeStrandedOnADesertIslandWith5Celebrities
WhoWouldTheyBe?
So here's the lucky list:
Dennis Quaid
He makes reasonable professional decisions, reasonable personal-life decisions, is reasonably rugged, and by association, would make me seem like a reasonable sort of girl...NOT a bad reputation to have as Famous Guy Arm Candy - who wants to be received as flaky and disengenuious, anyway? Associate with the reasonable and they'll take your picture much more frequently (and probably opt to catch you at the more flattering moments, no less!). And on top of that, Dennis seems like the kind of guy that would say something reasonably complimentary about your hair or dress at just the right moment.
Simon Cowell
Ok, I think he's foxy in that smirking, non-plussed sort of way...and basically, if the man that's underwhelmed by everyone were seen around town with me...well that would automatically put me heads and shoulders above most everyone else without doing a thing, right? If the man that looks down his nose at even talented, good-looking people decided it was A-OK to take me to dinner...superstar, right then and there.
Anthony LaPaglia
"Uh...what are you, SIXTY years old?? Why are you into him???"
Guess I'm a sucker for swarthy, quiet types with a little in the middle (and apparently chin, and cheeks...and...). But he stays under the radar, doesn't land himself in the tabloids, and there's that subtle little accent that creeps in from time to time. He broods a little...and what girl doesn't like the challenge of cheering up a brooding, swarthy man? Not that primetime tv hunks tend to get a whole lot of attention anyway, so maybe the arm candy can work in both directions in this case...he'll be seen around town with a nice young thing...I'll be seen with "that guy from that one show...with the blonde girl...and wasn't he the one wearing the mesh shirt in 'The Client?'"
Jeff Probst
Apparently another 20-something already beat me to the punch with this one...but she pretty much went straight down my bullet-pointed list of "things to accomplish before I'm 30" and took the wind outta my sails..."Psych degree, check! Get on tv, get tanned, get skinny, check! Take the Khaki King home to mom and dad, check!" How would he catapult me to superstardom? I'm not....reallly....sure. But he's got those sparkly white teeth and that wry sarcastic angle...and that corny helicopter bit that got so old at the end of every season of Survivor, I loved that bit!
George Clooney
This one is pretty much just a "what-can-you-do-for-me" pick. He's a decent-looking guy, but I'd call it more of a conquest thing...if Lucy Liu can't keep the man, there's not a lot of hope for the rest of us, but to be seen - actually seen in public, not rumoured to have dined in private - with him would make me that much more intruiging, AND he's about as high-profile as they come...only foreseeable complication: having someone's equally high-profile arm to rebound toward when I'm inevitably dropped cold for ambiguous reasons having something to do with "committment."
posted by heatheradair at 6:37 PM
2 Comments:
"IfYouCouldBeStrandedOnADesertIslandWith5CelebritiesWhoWouldTheyBe"
Now that's an awesome game. In fact, I'm going to steal it and put it on my blog! Moo-hoo-hah!
by all means, have at it
i think i decided to have a really...hmm...fulfilling island-stranding experience, it's best to pick a well-rounded group...a few actors, a musician, maybe a celebrity chef...no one wants to be stuck in the sand with a bunch of fueding beauty queens...
gives the game a little extra dimension
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